{"id":172,"date":"2007-07-13T06:17:27","date_gmt":"2007-07-12T22:17:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stevepeer.net\/wordpress\/?p=176"},"modified":"2007-07-13T06:17:27","modified_gmt":"2007-07-12T22:17:27","slug":"mrs-stevos-big-american-adventure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.stevepeer.com\/blog\/mrs-stevos-big-american-adventure\/","title":{"rendered":"Mrs. Stevo&#8217;s Big American adventure: Part I"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"left\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stevepeer.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/07\/washington.jpg?w=1000\" alt=\"washington.jpg\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I was asleep when the phone rang. Jay-Z and Linkin Park rapping 99 Problems interrupted a midday nap and an interesting dream I can\u2019t quite remember. I didn\u2019t recognize the number. That didn\u2019t mean much; I get a lot of calls from unknown numbers.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHello?\u201d I said, trying to sound fully awake.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHello, Dear.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It was my wife. I had received a text message over night, but hadn\u2019t heard her voice since she left early Monday morning.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow are you,\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n<p>A giggle. Then, \u201cWe\u2019re in Washington DC.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow are you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m sick.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSick?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI was sick on the bus this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>My wife suffers from motion sickness so intense that I sometimes wonder if it is a biblical plague (not to be confused with <a title=\"Bubonic Plague Outbreak\" href=\"http:\/\/bubonicplagueoutbreak.blogspot.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">bubonic plague<\/a>). Many Chinese people are the same way. \u201cSick bags\u201d hang from bus handrails.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTomorrow, go buy some medicine,\u201d I told her, \u201cAsk for something that won\u2019t make you sleepy.\u201d  I had visions of my beloved, full of dimenhydrinate, ushering teenagers around America. I\u2019ve seen her in the morning, and the idea of a sleepy Mrs. Stevo, wandering through the Smithsonian, made me uneasy.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt was raining at the capitol today. We had to run for the bus. I tripped on my trousers and fell down. I have nowhere to wash them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I quietly groaned. Her trip was not off to a good start.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow was the flight?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n<p>&lt;<\/p>\n<p>p class=&#8221;right caption&#8221; style=&#8221;text-align: center;&#8221;><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stevepeer.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/07\/foreigners-2.jpg?w=1000\" alt=\"foreigners-2.jpg\" \/><br \/>\nI am not in this photo (thankfully). Mrs. Stevo is in green.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt was fine. I was sick when we started to land in San Francisco.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIn a bag?\u201d I asked. I had a vision of my wife, not knowing about airline barf bags voiding her stomach in the aisle of packed 747.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, in the bag,\u201d she said. \u201cThe students felt sorry for me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I was relieved while feeling her pain. She managed a flight last summer without difficulty.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTomorrow, buy some medicine,\u201d I said again.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m okay if I don\u2019t eat,\u201d she explained.<\/p>\n<p>I knew her trip for the next few days would consist of being herded on and off buses. Not eating wouldn\u2019t work. For a 90 pound woman my wife can pack away a heroic portion of rice. I\u2019ve also come to believe that snacking is mandated under Chinese law.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe saw a lot of foreigners today.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re in America. Now, you\u2019re the foreigner,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n<p>She laughed.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere were a lot of black people.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I smiled. After getting to know a few black teachers she has been able to overcome the stereotypical belief that black is bad.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere are a lot of black people in America,\u201d I said. And everywhere, outside of China. \u201cDid you see any fat women?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She giggled again and said, \u201cOh my God.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I laughed. A Chinese woman that a foreign man would consider curvaceous is called \u201ca little fat\u201d by her Chinese friends. My wife, seeing the fast-food nation and its victims up close would be awed.<\/p>\n<p>The talk turned to all the men reminding her of me. She conceded I was more handsome, or would be if I shaved the goatee I\u2019ve been growing since school ended.<\/p>\n<p>We said goodbye.<\/p>\n<p>She is on an eye-opening adventure, something few of her colleagues will ever be able to do. Properly medicated she should do just fine.<\/p>\n<p>The same goes for me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A Chinese farmer&#8217;s daughter visits America and is amazed by the 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