{"id":3471,"date":"2007-04-28T05:28:13","date_gmt":"2007-04-27T21:28:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stevepeer.net\/wordpress\/?p=35"},"modified":"2007-04-28T05:28:13","modified_gmt":"2007-04-27T21:28:13","slug":"learning-chinese-playing-dum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.stevepeer.com\/blog\/learning-chinese-playing-dum\/","title":{"rendered":"Speaking Chinese: Playing dumb"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Playing dumb, I have found, is extremely useful. A somewhat lackluster student of Mandarin, or <em>Putonghua<\/em>, I understand much more than I am given credit for. That said, I don\u2019t use my language skills because I\u2019m somewhat private and reclusive. I once took an aptitude test; the results, read by an amazed guidance counselor, said I should pursue a career as a shepherd.<\/p>\n<p class=\"caption left\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stevepeer.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/04\/posh-hamster.jpg?w=1000\" alt=\"Hammy Hamster\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I was at the drug store last week, a place haunted by grandmotherly and grandfatherly types. I have used the same drugstore for two years, because I fear counterfeit medication, and I\u2019m too lazy to walk another 10 yards to try another establishment. While I trust this store, I have yet to try their 40 kuai ($ 5 US) Viagra.<\/p>\n<p>After selecting my medication I made my way to the cash register. The staff wear starched white lab coats and look extremely professional. Buying prophylactics in such an environment is unnerving, but as the narrator on Hammy Hamster used to say, that\u2019s another story.<\/p>\n<p>The bespectacled, 30-something manager was working the till. She scanned my purchase with a smile. Having more money than I know what to do with leads to an untidy bundle (nay, wad) of bills in my pocket. As I searched for the correct notes the manager and the old man leaning on the counter started to speak.<\/p>\n<p>Old man: Ta hui shou zhong wen ma?<br \/>\nManager: Shi, ta hui shou yi dian dian.<\/p>\n<p>Old man: Bu shi.<br \/>\nManager: Shi, ta de lao po shi zhong guo ren.<br \/>\nOld man: (Gasp)<br \/>\nI tried not to snicker. He turned his attention to me.<\/p>\n<p>Old man: Ni hui shou zhong wen ma?<br \/>\nI shrugged and smiled.<br \/>\nOld man (to the manager, vindicated): Ta bu hui shou zhong wen.<br \/>\nMe: Zhe ge, duo shao qian?<br \/>\nManager: Ba kuai wu.<\/p>\n<p>I paid.<\/p>\n<p>Old man: (Gasp)<br \/>\nHe rummaged in the bag for my now purchased medicine. He pointed to the Chinese characters on the box with a calloused finger.<br \/>\nOld man: Ni hui shou?<br \/>\nMe: Shrug.<br \/>\nOld man (vindicated, again): Ha!<br \/>\nI smiled, took my change and fled.<\/p>\n<p><em>Translated:<br \/>\n<\/em>Old man: Does he speak Chinese?<br \/>\nManager: Yes, a little.<br \/>\nOld man: No.<br \/>\nManager: Yes, his wife is Chinese.<br \/>\nOld man: <em>Gasp.<br \/>\n<\/em>I tried not to snicker. He turned his attention to me.<br \/>\nOld man: Do you speak Chinese?<br \/>\nI shrugged and smiled.<br \/>\nOld man (to the manager, vindicated): He doesn\u2019t speak Chinese.<br \/>\nMe: How much for this?<br \/>\nManager: 8.50 yuan.<br \/>\nI paid.<br \/>\nOld man: <em>Gasp.<\/em><br \/>\nOld man (his Chinese was actually wrong. He asked if I could speak this, but should have asked if I could read or understand it.): You can speak this?<br \/>\nMe: shrug.<br \/>\nOld man: Ha!<\/p>\n<p>I might have engaged the old man in basic conversation, but as I said, I\u2019m a hermit. Most of the week I am over-the-top, this doesn\u2019t carry over into my personal life. I have learned this phrase, which I will use during my next encounter.<\/p>\n<p><em>Wo hui shou bing dao wen.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Translated:<\/em> <strong><em>I speak Icelandic.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Playing dumb, I have found, is extremely useful. 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